


Two Halves of a Whole

by A_Sucker_For_True_Love



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Infidelity, Minor Character Death, One-Sided Relationship, POV First Person, Self-cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 21:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1793254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Sucker_For_True_Love/pseuds/A_Sucker_For_True_Love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I got the idea for this story from Rihanna's song Te amo.</p><p>‘that's when I saw it in her eyes, it's over.’</p><p>She looks at me with such deep sorrow in her beautiful chocolate brown eyes that I know that she knows.</p><p>I grab at my chest. My soul is crying. She is hurting and it's making me hurt.</p><p>"Kikyou," I breathe.</p><p>‘My soul is awry,’</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Halves of a Whole

The pulling on my soul wakes me up. She's calling me.

I sigh.

It has to end. I will end it tonight.

I can't take the tearing at my soul any longer, it's killing me.

I keep trying to get out of my husband's hold without waking him, but it's hard, because with every struggle he tightens his hold on me even more.

When I finally get out of his hold, I kneel down beside the futon and just stare at him, the only man I have ever loved.

I love him more than anything and that's why this has to end.

He had let her go for me, so it would destroy him if he found out my dirty little secret.

I could never hurt him. I would kill myself before I would willingly hurt him.

If it means anything, it started before we officially got together … back when I thought my love was one-sided and that he was still in love with her.

I was so lonely and I wanted to feel wanted, and she more than wanted me.

But, I kept it going even after, because I didn't want to hurt her.

I did it, because I wanted to make her happy. She really deserves to be happy after all the pain she's been through.

Nobody deserves happiness as much as she does.

She loves me, even though it's wrong and unnatural, she loves me so much.

She told me that she never really did love Inuyasha, she just loved the idea of not being alone and having someone to share her pain with … though don't get her wrong, she did care about him and still does.

I'm her real first love.

I make her feel like she's an actual living, breathing woman again.

I make her happy.

I don't love her, I never did.

I can't, my heart is and always was his.

He isn't the only one to feel obligation toward her, I do too.

She is my soul sister. I feel her emotions as she does mine. I dream what she dreams.

My soul aches for its other half. We our connected in a way he and I will never be.

We are one and I wanted to make my other half happy …

Even though I never loved her, I grew to deeply care about her and she made me feel something that he never will.

She knew from the start that my heart belonged to him and even though I knew it hurt her, she accepted it and took what she could.

Part of me doesn't want to leave her, part of me needs her, but I know it's the way it needs to be … if I ever want to be truly happy with him, to be free of all this guilt.

Plus, it isn't just about us …

I hug my stomach, looking down at it with soft, but sad eyes and a tiny smile.

I hold back tears as I lean down and kiss his forehead.

"I love you." I whisper before I stand up and exit our hut.

I still feel the pull of my soul, but its pull is stronger, she's getting impatient.

I let the pull guide me to her. She's in the clearing, sitting on the side of the well, her soul collectors dancing around all over the place, lightening the whole clearing up.

She looks at me with such deep sorrow in her beautiful chocolate brown eyes that I know that she knows.

I grab at my chest. My soul is crying. She is hurting and it's making me hurt.

"Kikyou," I breathe.

She stands up and comes over to me, still looking at me with those sad eyes.

"Kagome," She answers back my call, caressing my cheek tenderly.

"I understand." She reassures me, feeling my overwhelming guilt.

"I always knew this day would come. It should have never started in the first place, but I was selfish. I always knew who your heart belonged to and like me, Inuyasha never really loved me; he just loved the idea of not being alone anymore. He did not trust me like I did not trust him. At best he was content with me, but with you he is way more than just content, for the first time in his life he is actually happy. You two are made for each other. You and I … even if your heart did not belong to Inuyasha, we share a soul and that is not only unnatural, but it is also impossible … then again even if we did not share a soul and I was actually alive, we still could not be together, because same sex relationships are forbidden and people get hunted down and killed for that, but I did not care about any of that, I just wanted to be with you, even if it was only for a little while. With you I can feel, I am alive, I am actually happy, so I could not help it. I still want to be with you, but it is time to stop being selfish. I know how it has been killing you and I am tired of hurting you. I am tired of going behind Inuyasha's back; he does not deserve this, if he knew it would kill him."

She pauses for a moment, looking deep into my eyes with a special glint in her glassy eyes, and then looks down at my stomach, rubbing it with a dainty hand.

"And, you and Inuyasha are not the only ones I have to think of." She continues with a sad smile.

She looks back up at me with tears flooding her eyes.

I have never seen Kikyou cry before and I never want to again.

"You have a family now; I cannot break up a family."

I feel tears fill my eyes again. This is so hard.

"You won't break up our family. Just because we can't be lovers anymore, doesn't mean we can't still be friends. You're the closest thing to an aunt that our baby has and you mean a lot to both Inuyasha and I, Kikyou."

Kikyou shakes her head, her tears finally falling, flowing down her pale, flawless cheeks.

Warning bells go off in my head and my soul is restless.

I don't like this.

I don't like the bad feelings I am getting. I don't like how Kikyou shook her head to what I said. I don't like the painful recognition in her deep brown eyes.

My tears overflow until they leak out like a faucet.

No …

I know what she's planning to do.

How did it come to this?

Why do we have to be lovers or nothing at all?

I can't let her do it … I just can't.

I shake my head so hard; I thought my neck was going to snap. My tears come faster, my cheeks drowning in my tears.

"K- Kik-Kikyou … n-no." I choke out, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her into a clinging embrace.

I'm not letting her go … not for anything.

I'm so afraid.

Oh, Kikyou …

"Oh, Kagome, I know you do not want me to leave and I know you do not want to let me go completely, but it is for the best. I do not belong to this world; my time here has ended over fifty years ago. It is so hard being brought back from the dead like this … being in this fake body, an empty shell, having to live off of other peoples souls. I disgust myself. I hate living like this. It is not me; it is not how I want to live. My revenge on Inuyasha is what kept me going at first, then it was my determination to end Naraku … and then-" She pulls back just enough so she could look at me.

Her tears are still flowing as are mine. She starts to caress my cheek again.

"It was you; you who gave me purpose to keep on living my undead life, which made me not regret it anymore. If I was not brought back to life, than I would never have met you and I would never have known the small amount of happiness that you have shown me."

She smiles a rare genuine smile that reaches her glistening eyes, which only I ever got to see, that always melted my heart and got me thinking that she should smile more, it highlights her beauty, making her even more beautiful.

Before we became lovers, I had never seen her smile. She was always sad, angry, cold, or just emotionless.

My aching heart fills with warmth not only from her smile, but her words.

She lived, because of me. I gave her purpose. I made her happy for the first time in both of her lives.

But that warmth doesn't last long as ice cold pierces my heart like daggers.

I know I will never see that smile again.

She is leaving … I can't make her stay anymore.

Not for the first time I wish I loved her the way she wants me to. I know she would stay if I did and she would be happier too … if anybody ever deserved to be loved, it was Kikyou.

She grabs both sides of my head and brings our lips inches apart.

"Thank you, Kagome." She breathes on my lips, before crashing our lips together in a passionate goodbye kiss.

I immediately kiss her back.

"Kikyou," I breathe against her lips, deepening the kiss.

I taste salt water and I wonder if I taste Kikyou's tears or my own … or maybe even both.

Kikyou traces the crease between my lips with her tongue, begging for entrance and I'm not going to disappoint her, so I open my mouth.

Our tongues rub against each other and twine together, doing a familiar dance.

After a few minutes, Kikyou pulls back, just enough that our lips are barely touching.

"I love you, never forget that. I will always be with you."

"KIKYOU!" I cry out in despair as her body crumbles like what my heart and soul were doing right now.

I fall to my knees, crying my heart out.

"I'm sorry, Kikyou! I'm so sorry I couldn't love you!" I cry out into the sky so she can hear me from the afterlife.

If I did … it wouldn't have ended like this … it would have ended up differently.

I hang my head, covering my eyes with my hands.

"You'll always have a special place in my heart, Kikyou." I sob quietly into my hands.

* * *

I am out in the fields collecting herbs when all a sudden a sharp pain splits through my stomach.

I hunch over, dropping the basket of herbs I am holding, and wrap my arms protectively around my large rounded stomach.

"INUYASHA!" I scream as loud as I can in pain.

I feel as my water breaks and makes a puddle at my feet.

"KAGOME!" I hear Inuyasha yell back in fear and panic.

I look up to see him gliding towards me.

When he reaches me, he gently grabs my shoulders, looking in my eyes with a soft, but worried look.

"Kagome, what's wrong?"

I manage a small smile.

"It's time."

* * *

We stare down at the new addition to our family.

It is a girl, a beautiful baby girl.

I swear I was looking at myself when I was a baby.

She looks so much like me, I am kind of disappointed. I was hoping that she was at least going to have her father's adorable puppy ears, but she looks completely human.

Well, maybe that's because she is only quarter demon. She has more human blood in her than demon.

"What should we name her?" Inuyasha asks me.

I think for a second, until it comes to me.

I let a small fond smile form on my lips.

"Kikyou, we'll name her Kikyou."

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you think? No flames please! I might eventually make a prequel to this where it shows you how they got together, if anyone's interested.


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